Filling in the Blanks

So we are about to host another Baby Dedication. It's a wonderful celebration where we, as a church family, stand up and say that we'll stand by the parents in encouraging, equipping and supporting them as they direct the spiritual life of their young child....

And then we don't connect with them - as a family, in our church family - until the child is ready to be baptized. Sometime about 10 years in the future!

What about all the milestones in between? How can we possibly keep our promises if we don't invite families to gather again at various times during their child's spiritual journey? What about worshiping together, learning about communion, serving, giving, discovering spiritual gifts?

The first step toward partnering with parents is to fill in the blanks by developing some shared spiritual experiences for parents and kids:
Family Worship Services
Family Bible Study and Small Groups
Family Dinners

And connect them with resources ... and create avenues where we can check back in with families and find out how they are doing.

So then, we as the extended family, can truly celebrate baptism knowing the joy of planting seeds along the spiritual pathways in each child's life.

Fishing for Chaperones

Image via Wikipedia

How do we reach the heart of boys? Being a girl, I don't know the answer. I like talking, and reading and crafts. Ewwey stuff if you are a boy.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b9/Stilts_fishermen_Sri_Lanka_02.jpg/75px-Stilts_fishermen_Sri_Lanka_02.jpg
But I think it's action, motion, adventure that drives them. As in a fishing trip. Then I look at the disiples ... all MEN I might add ... and there sure was a heck of a lot of fishing going on. And outdoor dining, and hiking, and eating. So maybe we take our cues from the ancients, and reach our boys this way. And maybe that's the way to get men to reach boys.

It's looking like there may be some fishing expeditions in the offing for our boys, and I pray that God meets each and everyone of these boys - however mature they may be - through the interaction with nature, motors and each other.

Seeing Orange - check out this video

Psalm 78

This Sunday I spoke briefly on Psalm 78. Specifically, this statement really struck me:

"We will not hide them (God's teachings) from their children, we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord; his power, and the wonders he has done."

I kept coming back to the word hide. It reminded me of the story of the disciples attempting to keep the little children from coming to Jesus. (Mark 10:13)

What are we hiding from our children? Surely it is not the stories of old, the stories of the bible heroes. Certainly not! We bring them to church, we read Bible stories to them, we pray with them.

But how often do we truly invite children, messy, loud, silly children into our time with the Lord? How often do we invite them to pray for us? And even more so, how often do we share with them the stories of the miracles that God has done in our own lives? Not very often.

So what are we hiding? And why? In order for us to share what God has done for us, we must humble ourselves and admit that we are not perfect. For in our imperfection, that is where God can show forth his power. And what an injustice it is to hide these amazing stories from our children. Our imperfect children in our imperfect households. God is perfect, he reigns supreme and our lives are a testimony to his greatness. He is working in us to grow us into his likeness, in just the same way that he is working in the hearts and lives of the next generation.

Throughout the bible, children are there in the midst of God's people, struggling along with the masses. Children saw their parents make the choice to wander, worship idols, etc. They were enslaved in Egypt, they crossed the Red Sea. They heard Moses give the 10 commandments and they helped Nehemiah rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.

I invite you to join me as we explore ways that our faith journeys can cross with those of the younger generation.

Work me out of a job ...

Yes, that’s right. Grace parents, I want you to work me out of a job as the director of children’s ministry. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve still got work to do. But God has placed you as a parent in a matchless position to be the children’s minister and primary spiritual role model for your children.

And research has proven what we claim to know – that God is always right. Mothers (with fathers a close second) are the primary and most lasting influencers of both boys and girls. And Sunday School is only a quarter of the spiritual influence on children.

Significant Religious Influences (Search Institute Survey of 250,000 teens)

Male Female

Mother 81% 74%

Father 61% 50%

Pastor 57% 44%

Grandparent 30% 29%

Sunday School 26% 25%

Youth Group 24% 26%

So let’s see what God has to say about the matter.

Psalm 78:5-7

³ what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us. ⁴ We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done. ⁵ He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children, ⁶ so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. ⁷ Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

⁴ Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. ^{[a] 56} These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

While these may be a familiar scriptures - and no doubt the best overall mission statement for families - it may leave you asking yourself, “what does that mean for me?” Personally, my first reaction would be to run screaming through the streets – “Do you mean I’ve got to do devotions with my kids all day long?!!! And then, “How can I possibly compete with the pastor and youth leaders in teaching these spiritual principals to my kids?!?!!!” I’ve got news for you. God says it doesn’t have to be that complicated!

Repeatedly, the Israelite parents were told to have an answer when they asked them about spiritual matters. Read on where the following verses show God’s vision for what it looks like to live out Deuteronomy 6: for their children.

Deuteronomy 6:20-25

²⁰ In the future, when your son asks you, "What is the meaning of the stipulations, decrees and laws the LORD our God has commanded you?" ²¹ tell him: "We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but the LORD brought us out of Egypt²² Before our eyes the LORD sent miraculous signs and wonders—great and terrible—upon Egypt and Pharaoh and his whole household. ²³ But he brought us out from there to bring us in and give us the land that he promised on oath to our forefathers. ²⁴ The LORD commanded us to obey all these decrees and to fear the LORD our God, so that we might always prosper and be kept alive, as is the case today. ²⁵ And if we are careful to obey all this law before the LORD our God - as he has commanded us - that will be our righteousness." with a mighty hand.

Exodus 12:25-27

²⁵ When you enter the land that the LORD will give you as he promised, observe this ceremony. ²⁶ And when your children ask you, 'What does this ceremony mean to you?' ²⁷ then tell them, 'It is the Passover sacrifice to the LORD, who passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt and spared our homes when he struck down the Egyptians.'

Exodus 13:14-15

¹⁴ "In days to come, when your son asks you, 'What does this mean?' say to him, 'With a mighty hand the LORD brought us out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. ¹⁵ When Pharaoh stubbornly refused to let us go, the LORD killed every firstborn in Egypt, both man and animal. This is why I sacrifice to the LORD the first male offspring of every womb and redeem each of my firstborn sons.'

Joshua 4:4-7

⁴ So Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, ⁵ and said to them, "Go over before the ark of the LORD your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, ⁶ to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' ⁷ tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever."

So, what do we learn from these scriptures? As children experience God in the midst of their lives and observe their parent’s expressions of faith, they become curious about what it all means. They ask questions. And parents answer them with what they know.

It seems that God’s divine formula for spiritual parenting is:

A. Kids ask

B. Parents tell

Once again, experience bears out the truth of God wisdom. Children are more eager and receptive to learn when they are seeking an answer to a question and are intellectually driven by curiosity. So, simple, right?

Now let’s not forget this subject of my job description. Look at the mission statement of the Children’s Ministry at Grace, and this is where my role becomes crystal clear:

Partnering with parents to disciple children to become fully-devoted followers of Jesus Christ

It seems to me that in order to truly raise-up kids at Grace who are sold-out for Christ, my emphasis - our emphasis - needs to change from solely equipping kids, to including partnering with parents as you equip your kids. And that’s a BIG jump…a leap of faith for all of us, you might say.

So how and when do we make that leap? What needs to change and what needs to be developed? If you are interested helping create a game plan for how best to equip and support parents in their role as the spiritual leaders for their kids, I’d like to invite you to join a think tank (of sorts). Let’s work together to make an eternal impact in the life of children.