Caught not Taught

So I've been looking at the benefits and barriers to what I've been calling "family life groups." My regular group consists of 4 adults and three children. This week, however, the group extended to include 2 teenagers. So we ranged in age from 5 years old to 51. For the first time, the kids opted to stay with us instead of bolting outside to run around, and the discussion turned to 'hearing God speak.'

While several of the adults and teens discussed their experiences with hearing from God, the kids continued to play with lego on the other side of the room, interjecting at will. When the older children were prompted to give their input, they didn't really have anything to say.

At first glance, my reaction would be to say that the kids didn't really get anything out of group tonight. We didn't elicit deep responses or teach them anything specific. And therein lies the barrier to family life groups and the place where faith comes in to the picture. We can't see God working in the hearts of those in a group who choose not to talk, those who we deem are 'too young' to understand the discussion.

In our group the children are like flies on the wall, seeing, hearing, feeling and occasionally participating in our discussions. Had they been relegated to another room in the house or sent outside to play with a babysitter, they would not have heard the adults and teens talking about the different ways God had spoken to them. They would not have seen teenagers - role models - discussing the place of faith in their lives. We would have hindered them from seeing the ways in which Christ works in people's lives.

The FAITH 5 (Faith Acts In The Home)

Faith Inkubators + The FAITH 5 Method
The FAITH 5

Care to have some fun, keep your family communicating every night, and grow in your understanding of yourself and God? Try this simple five-step process for the next six weeks and see if it doesn’t help!

Here’s how you do it: Whoever is going to bed first in your home calls “FAITH 5” or “Huddle Up!” Everyone must drop what they’re doing, turn off the television, put down the newspaper or their homework, set the cell phone on silence and gather in a room of the convener’s choice. Then take turns going through these five simple steps:

1. SHARE highs & lows of the day

2. READ and highlight a verse of Scripture in your Bible

3. TALK about how the verse relates to your highs & lows

4. PRAY for your highs & lows, for your family, and for the world

5. BLESS one another

You want a great relationship with your kids? You want openness, honesty, caring and sharing in your family? You want to raise a child to be a strong, thoughtful, empathetic, positive, healthy adult out in the world some day? You can’t buy that. You have to invest in it. And the investment is the most expensive currency you own – your TIME – aimed at that most precious young person in your life.

Kids spell love TIME. Be intentional. Be consistent. Be caring. Be the parent. Every night. Every home.

No one else can do that for you.

Four Questions

1. For Parents of Young Children: What would it be worth to you to have a teenager some day who won’t go to sleep without talking to you about their day? Praying with you? Blessing you? Would it be worth five minutes? Tonight? Every night?

2. For Parents of Pre-Teens: What would happen to your family over time if you were able to keep this open, caring communication going every night throughout adolescence?

3. For Parents of Teenagers: Once the teen years begin and drivers’ licences come into play, communication between parents and teens can become a challenge. How might this type of five-minute conversation change a family if they were intentional and consistent about it? Would the benefits outweigh the hassle of trying to invest this time of care, listening, and prayer each night in your home? Why or why not?

4. For Church Leaders: What would happen to a family over time if they made an intentional point of doing the Faith 5 most every night? What would happen to your church five years from today if the majority of your households were doing active listening, scripture, faith talk, prayer, and blessings every night?

K-12 What are we aiming for???

Well, let's just take a look at the young Jesus. At 12 he voluntarily ran off to talk to adults about God and scripture. This is a picture of a boy who has a role in the spiritual community. Despite a young person's naturally impulsive tendency (running off without telling his parents), he does not hesitate to get into a spiritual repartee with his elders. In fact, he feels called to do so.

How blessed we would be in our faith communities if our tweens and teens were seeking truth, had a working knowledge of God's word, were open to teach and be taught, willing to voice their opinion and found readily engaging in spiritual dialog with adults! Against this there can be no law!

Zechariah 8:3-5

Image by State Library of New South Wales collection via Flickr

God's Vision for Life in the New Jerusalem

This is what the LORD says: "I will return to Zion and dwell in Jerusalem. Then Jerusalem will be called the City of Truth, and the mountain of the LORD Almighty will be called the Holy Mountain."

This is what the LORD Almighty says: "Once again men and women of ripe old age will sit in the streets of Jerusalem, each with cane in hand because of his age. The city streets will be filled with boys and girls playing there."

Intergenerational Ministry

Some great excerpts from the Building Church Leaders download:

- Scripture presents coming to know God as a family and community-based process.

- A relational community where the children were to grow up participating in the culture.

- Children were not just included, they were drawn in and assimilated into the whole community.

- For children to experience authentic Christian community, they must be present with the worshiping community.

- As children are assimilated with a deep sense of belonging into the body of Christ, they will make sense of their experiences with God. They will see their parents and others worship, pray with and for each other, minister to others, and be ministered to. They will come to see that all things in their lives are under God. They will be privy to the normal Christian life as lived by the significant adults in their lives. And they will come to know God better.

1. What opportunities do children have to engage withthe life of our church?
2. Why do we separate people by age group in our church?
3. How has focusing on age-specific ministries strengthened our church? How has it created challenge?

Bringin' it to the table...

Thanks to Craig U:

Here's a great SIMPLE idea for families. I know how complicated it is to gather everyone around the dinner table each night. Girl Scouts, board meetings, soccer practice, birthday parties, business dinners, parent/teacher conferences and on, and on, throughout your year.

But you can probably find 5-10 minutes a day (set a time) and gather everyone in your family around the table (kitchen, coffee or other gathering place). Bring your highs and lows of the day to each other and then to the Lord in prayer. Amazing how something this simple can be so effective.

Then choose one day a week that you know for sure you've got everyone home, and have a special family dinner night.

Blessings.